Relatives between love and distancing oneself

Dr. Manfred Ziepert, registered psychiatrist and psychotherapist, described many years ago the dilemma faced by relatives between love and caring for their sick family member and the necessity often experienced of having or distance themselves at the same time.

His thoughts still reflect the emotional state of many relatives. The inner conflict “between love and distancing oneself“ remains just as much a reality today as it was then.

Sorrow and anger as life-giving forces

Sorrow and anger – these are feelings which Dr. Manfred Ziepert already dealt with in his paper “Between Love and Distancing oneself“. In a different context he placed these feelings in focus and described how important it is for relatives to allow feelings of sorrow and anger to develop in order to generate new vitality by overcoming such feelings.

"Sorrow and anger – these feelings are not an empty stroke of fate in the life of relatives of psychologically ill persons. Sorrow and anger are important driving forces, which everyone needs now and then, and which specifically seek to help you find fresh vitality and zest for life. However, this does not simply happen by itself, but only if you consciously develop the process yourself."

And who’s interested in how I feel? Relatives between responsibility and self-determination

Eva Straub , who has worked for many years in the field of psychiatric self-help has discussed a second conflict experienced by relatives:

It will never be easy for relatives to helpfully support their psychologically sick family member through the illness. There will always be obstacles to overcome, really big ones, and to then have the strength and courage to be able to consciously decide to eliminate, overcome or simply bypass such obstacles –  after exhausting all information sources available – this is something which gives us relatives the feeling of having assumed responsibility in a voluntary and considered manner, and of having gained partial self-determination in the process. The path to such “wisdom for relatives“ is a very long one, but well worth pursuing.